Universa

Halo universa ! Lama tak jumpa.
Akhirnya minggu-minggu ujian selesai jua.
Hampir letih aku.
Ingin percepat waktu.
Untuk membebaskan diri dan mencari cerita.
Malam ini aku bertemu lagi denganmu.

Halo universa, tak ada yang banyak berubah.
Aku masih sayang padamu.
Dari ujung rambut hingga ujung kaki.
Masih rindu angin malam.
Dan suara jangkrik.
Dan gradasi langit yang perlahan menguning.
Dan kesunyian yang kamu janjikan padaku.
Tempat merenung, tempat berdiam diri, tempat berpikir.
Gelap gulita, bahkan bisikan pun seperti menoreh warna.
Hampir terdengar detak jantungku.
Yang diam-diam melembut karena pangkuanmu.

Halo universa ! Aku akan menghadapi 3 bulan yang penuh kisah.
Ayo kesini dan temani aku.
Dan sambut aku setiap kali aku lari dari dunia nyata.
Kita bersahabat kan, aku dan kamu?
Kamu adalah pelarian yang tak terganti.
Terbaik dari segala ciptaan homo sapiens.
Selamat liburan.
Dan selamat belajar, universa.
Aku pamit.
Tapi tidak pulang.

03.06.14
[F]

The Fault in Our Star (Late Post)

Hallo ! I haven’t written for a while in this blog. Hah! Aku kangen. Tapi hari ini aku baru keluar dari bioskop dengan pipi sembap dan mata merah. Baru aja selesai nonton TFIOS. I am that kind of person who always wants to compare the book version with the movie version. And frankly, there is only few movies that could really light up my expectations upon the book. THIS IS ONE OF THEM.

Aku udah lama banget nunggu TFIOS ini nongol di bioskop. Seharusnya awal Juni udah masuk, ternyata hari ini baru keluar. Waaah, senengnya akhirnya bisa nonton, tapi entah ada apa hari ini bioskopnya super penuh. Mungkin karena Transformer lagi premier kali ya, sampe dibuka 6 studio tadi.

I had a very high expectation about TFIOS, especially because I have read the book and I’ve fallen in love with the story. It’s quite simple actually, isn’t it? Two extraordinary girl and boy who suffered from cancer tried their best to live up longer and pursue their dream. Oh God, but the way John Green tells us about their story is absolutely sophisticated. His words are beautiful. I love how he points out something simple yet go unnoticed such as while he’s using the ciggarrette metaphor. You know? When you put the killing thing in your mouth but you don’t give it the power to kill you. I just love it.

Yang bikin film ini keren adalah : Pertama, aktornya cocok. Shaillene Woodley dan Ansel Ergort make a cute couple. Ergort’s sense of humour is very entertaining. Kedua, gak ada adegan penting yang dipotong dari buku. Yapp, memang versi film TFIOS lebih pendek dan gak detail, tapi overall alur ceritanya sesuai sama yang ada di buku. Gak ada perasaan “kehilangan” suatu adegan penting atau yang memorable (unlike Harry Potter, for instance). Last but not least, TFIOS mengeluarkan semua kalimat-kalimat berkesan yang ada di versi bukunya. I was seriously surprised because not all the movies do so. Aku merasa bahwa kata-kata John Green yang ada di buku itu indah sekali, dan bahwa versi filmnya pun harus meng-quote kata-kata dia. Because that’s what makes it sooo touching. Jadilah akhirnya aku nangis tersedu-sedu di bioskop. :’) 

Here are some quotes from TFIOS:

1. That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.
2. Maybe “okay” will be our “forever”.
3. I love you the way you sleep : slowly, then all at once.
4. I want more numbers than I’m likely to get. And God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m eternally grateful.
5. She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her.
6. You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world. But you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers.

Survive

People get used to everything. People get used to beauty. People get used to their hot and cute girl/boyfriend. People get used to the beauty of some places. People get used to lie. People get used to their favorite food.
It’s true. People get used to everything. That’s one of the reason why human being exists up until today. Because we’re great adapters. We get used of everything.
And so, we get used to feeling too. When we’re losing our loved ones, either because they leave or they pass by, the first months will be the hardest period to cope. We’ll cry a lot, we’ll be in mourn, we’ll do everything we could to take them back in our life. But believe me, we’ll get used to that. We’ll get used to their absence, their old memory, our sickness of not being able to see them anymore. And our sadness slowly fades. There’s big hole in our heart, but we can survive. We feel something’s incomplete but we go on with our lives. We’ll get used to be left behind, to be brokenhearted, to be forgotten.

We’ll survive.

25.07.14
[F]

Ada Apa Dengan Hujan

Orang sering tanya kenapa aku suka hujan.

 Dan aku sering bilang karena ada cerita di baliknya.

 Karena aku suka caranya memerciki gersang.

 Aku suka cara anggun tiap butirnya menjamah bumi.

 Menyentuh tanah dan meniupkan aroma petrichor.

Tapi bukan itu saja.

 Aku suka melihat para pengendara motor yang menepi dan berteduh.

 Aku suka melihat orang memaki karena sepatunya menginjak genangan air.

 Aku suka melihat wajah muram anak kecil karena tidak bisa bermain di luar.

 Aku suka melihat orang berlarian menutupi kepala mereka dengan seadanya.

 Takut basah, takut sakit.

 Aku suka melihat mereka terbirit-birit melindungi tas dan buku mereka.

 Aku suka melihat mereka ngebut agar segera sampai segera di kehangatan rumah.

 Aku suka melihat mereka bersungut-sungut di bawah payung.

 Mengeluh karena kakinya kotor dan celananya terciprat air got.

 Aku suka melihat mereka terpeleset di licinnya aspal.

Aku suka.

 Melihat raut manusia ketika mereka sadar,

 bahwa mereka tidak bisa mengalahkan semesta.

13.06.14

 [F]

Balancing Life

It’s so much easier to master one stuff at a time. Di antara bermain, belajar, bergaul, menyendiri, berdoa, berjalan-jalan, berolahraga, mengajar, menulis, berdiskusi, rapat, mudah sekali untuk menyisihkan satu kegiatan demi kegiatan lainnya. Mudah sekali untuk mengabaikan sebagian besar dan fokus pada beberapa hal yang kita prioritaskan. Damn right it is.

Yang susah adalah bagaimana mempertahankan keseimbangan dalam hidup. Yap, hidup membuka ribuan kesempatan emas setiap hari. Lika-liku yang tepinya tak berujung. Persimpangan yang selalu baru. Satu pilihan dapat mengantarkan kita ke jalan yang sama sekali baru. Mudah memang untuk secara konstan belajar dan belajar terus menerus. Lama kelamaan belajar menjadi kebiasaan, kemudian menjadi kebutuhan. Kemudian kita menempatkannya dalam nomer pertama prioritas hidup kita. Dan melapangkan dada untuk merelakan yang lain tidak terurus. Kita tidak meluangkan waktu untuk berolahraga, untuk menulis, untuk berdoa, bahkan. Tapi ada hal baiknya pula, bahwa lama kelamaan belajar menjadi hal termudah yang dilakukan. We’re being good at it. We’re being expert.

But reality does bite, ketika kita menjadi amat pintar dan adiktif pada kegiatan belajar, kita kehilangan waktu untuk mengukir kenangan dengan teman-teman terdekat. Kehilangan waktu untuk berpergian ataupun bersenang-senang barang sejenak. Dan kita selalu lari, kembali pada apa yang membuat kita nyaman, kita kembali ke meja belajar dan duduk mempelajari buku tebal untuk pelarian. Mudah bukan?

Yang susah adalah mengolah 24 jam sehari dan tujuh hari seminggu itu ke dalam wadah yang bisa memuat kesemua kegiatan. Meluangkan waktu untuk bermain, belajar, bergaul, menyendiri, berdoa, berjalan-jalan, berolahraga, mengajar, menulis, berdiskusi, dan rapat. Tidak ketinggalan satu pun. Susah sekali memang, tapi yang susah bukan berarti tidak mungkin. Waktu adalah milik kita sepenuh-penuhnya. Waktu juga lah yang akan membuktikan apakah kita benar-benar bisa menggunakannya dengan baik. Waktu setiap manusia sama, tapi ada manusia yang menjadi milyarder dan ada manusia yang overdosis obat-obatan. Ada manusia yang memecahkan rekor dunia dan ada manusia yang kerjanya mencopet pusat perbelanjaan. It’s up to us.

Jadi, aku pilih yang kedua. Yang walaupun kadang mataku bengkak karena tidak tidur, atau kadang terkapar berhari-hari karena kegiatan dan kesehatan tidak sinkron, atau kadang ingin jambak-jambak rambut karena deadline dan pekerjaan berlarian mengerjar. Tapi bukankah itu kunci kebahagiaan? Tentang keseimbangan dalam hidup. Entahlah. Aku rasa iya. :’)

05.05.14

[F]

Should Not We?

Shouldn’t we be tired by now? Shouldn’t we be fed up?

 By those fake smiles and shallow conversation.

 By those fake friends and lousy relation.

 By those critics from narsistics.

 By those praises from flatterer.

 By those silly sweet words and futile touch

 And the love you think worth taking granted for

 While the other side thinks it’s only for fun

 And you want to settle

 But they want to be free

Shouldn’t we be tired by now?

 Shouldn’t we be fed up?

12.06.14

 [F]

If I Should Have a Daughter

If I should have a daughter…“Instead of “Mom”, she’s gonna call me “Point B.”

Because that way, she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I’m going to paint the solar system on the back of her hands so that she has to learn the entire universe before she can say “Oh, I know that like the back of my hand.”

She’s gonna learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face, wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach.

But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by band-aids or poetry, so the first time she realizes that Wonder-woman isn’t coming, I’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself. Because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I’ve tried.

And Baby, I’ll tell her “Don’t keep your nose up in the air like that, I know that trick, you’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him.

Or else, find the boy who lit the fire in the first place to see if you can change him.”

But I know that she will anyway, so instead I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boats nearby, because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix. Okay, there’s a few heartbreaks chocolate can’t fix. But that’s what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything if you let it.

I want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat, to look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind. Because that’s how my mom taught me. That there’ll be days like this, “There’ll be days like this my momma said” when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises.

When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you wanna save are the ones standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say “thank you,” ‘cause there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it’s sent away.

You will put the “wind” in win some – lose some,

you will put the “star” in starting over and over,

and no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this fury place called life.

And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting I am pretty damn naive but I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar.

It can crumble so easily but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.

Baby, I’ll tell her “remember your mama is a worrier but your papa is a warrior and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more.”

Remember that good things come in threes and so do bad things and always apologize when you’ve done something wrong but don’t you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.

Your voice is small but don’t ever stop singing and when they finally hand you heartbreak, slip hatred and war under your doorstep and hand you hand-outs on street corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them,

 that they really ought to meet your mother.

-                   Sarah Kay “If I Should Have a Daughter” -