I ask myself a lot
of question. I discuss, I argue, I talk a lot with myself.
And all of sudden
when I am tired, and overly confused, I ask God.
I discuss, I argue,
I criticize Him as if I know what’s right for everyone.
And I’m kinda
dissapointed several times, everytime I see handicap-persons, child soldier,
extreme-famine-society, people with mental disorder, youngster with cancer,
innocent casualties of war, and the list goes on.
I never get it, why
God have to put human being in such pathetic situation.
I never get it, why
God let them suffer, some for the rest of their life, some for the couple years
of war, or the couple months doctor gives them to life.
And God remains
silent.
And so everytime I
knee down and pray, I try to include all those people in such bright words of
prayer, such wishful petition, to simply, flee them from all the anguish. to
simply beg God, so He’ll cure all the illness, settle all the wars, heal all
the defected, raise all the poor.
And God remains
silent.
I frustatingly ask
him to answer. God, do you really want this to happen?
All the
catastrophes, all the wars, all the illness. God, do you really let it happen?
People getting
divorce, abandoning their kids, some even beating them up. The rich getting
richer and the poor getting poorer. Christian break their rosary and devotion,
slowly walk away from the church. People passing starving skinny child asking
for crumbs, or a penny or two. Homeless people in the corner, surviving the
winter and minus degrees of weather, the blanket is probably the only thing worthy.
And not a single fuck given, not today, more likely not tomorrow, and maybe not
even forever.
What can I do God?
When I care but most people don’t, where do I have to buy the humanity? In which
stores? Or will you, someday, restore it to what Bible calls – the highest
creature of God – the human being?
And God, He remains
silent.